Long ago, there was a thriving civilization of small humanoid bears called Gummi Bears. Possessing powerful magic and advanced technology, this race coexisted with humans until the growing rivalry forced the Gummis to flee across the sea, leaving only a small caretaker colony to prepare for a possible return. However, generations passed and the colony forgot their purpose even as human knowledge of the race faded into mere legend. All that changes when the colony meets a boy with a Gummi Bear medallion which unlocks the Great Book of Gummi which reveals lost knowledge of their past. Now the colony has dedicated themselves to the new goal to rediscover their heritage with the help of a few trusted humans while preventing new enemies like Duke Igthorn from exploiting that heritage to their own ends.
Then:
Adventures of the Gummi Bears is one of my earliest television memories. From what I can recall, they had a magic potion that gave them special powers that allowed the to bounce around on their bottoms.
I remember the bad guys looking like rhinos though I’m basically certain that’s not right. There was one little bad guy who was the smartest but always got blamed for everything; he looked just like the other bad dudes but was just smaller (I’m very descriptive, get used to it!).
Ok, Gummi Bears was on regular cable at one point, this is when I watched it. Saturday mornings, my little white butt (two for two in mentioning that in posts, success!) was on our blue couch in the family room watching all things Gummi. All of a sudden, they were gone like Keyser Söze; vanished. Think of how tragic that was in the eyes of a little kid.
You’re tearing up aren’t you? I knew it.
Now (Vol. 1: Seasons 1-3: Disc 2):
First off, what kind of potion makes them bounce on their butts instead of their feet? Gummi Berry Juice is bar-none the worst potion ever. What writer said, “I’ve got it! They won’t use their feet with the potion, they’ll bounce around on their rear ends!” Better yet, whose boss agreed with the idea?! They writers of this show could've used some tutelage from Stan Lee strictly to improve the powers of the bears. Bouncing on your ass is stupid in my opinion. If anyone wants to try convince me otherwise go ahead, I'm all ears.
I forgot about the chubby bear, Tummy. He was a typical fat character: lovable, a little dense, constantly hungry, etc. I started to think that cartoons might have molded how the kids view heavy folks. If we always watched cartoons/movies where the fat guy was mistreated and incompetent, that had to rub off on young impressionable minds, at least a little, no? Just think of all the times the fat person is the 'slow' one: Goonies, Tommy Boy, etc. (that's only two examples but screw off, they're legit). Little did we know that Hollywood was teaching us to hate fat people...and succeeded!
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| Just walk away Tummy. |
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| Morons. |
It really gets old watching Igthorn obsessing over that damn juice. Every 15 minute episode has some other attempt to capture a bear, and get the juice. They were completely disjointed episodes having nothing to do with one another. My eyes were bleeding after watching 6 attempts at the juice. Little kids are stupid, there I said it.
Ok, Adventures of the Gummi Bears sucked. I know, I know. My last post got a poor rating and I really really wanted to have this one come out on top but the show was so horrible to watch. I've decided stupid little kids will watch, and enjoy, anything with cartoons.
HOW RAD WAS IT?! Not rad.
